Saturday, April 22, 2006
Argh
worst ive ever had.. that was wad i was thinking after we played thru fam day performance.. y did i sound like shit? i probably screwed up badly.. shan't start blaming equipment and setup... so i'll get to the point.. i suck.. im probably the one pulling the band's legs (if tts the right phrase).. timing wrong, guitar off tune, looked like a stone and importantly played like no other bassist has ever done before : the right notes. sry blue exit if i screwed up.. sry to all those who had high hopes if there was any.. i shall try to do as best as my weak self can.. if we dun get thru the semis it might be my fault.. if we get through i probably wun be there to play..
im dead beat.. not only from playing almost everyday and screwing around with the rest of the band doing well, i feel i am on the wrong side of all stuff.. maybe im not fated at all to be a musician.. i lack the bloody discipline, maybe musicianship.. and showmanship.. crap. sum1 give me a wake up call and maybe stop me from playing in the semis.. Roland played better den me.. with only about 1 month of bass guitar experience.. so what am i.. some poser who thinks he is good? maybe.. i'll reflect on wad im doing.. esp since 99% of the people are telling me i cant play ballz.. God help me..
died. let me sleep my pessimism out. if it ever goes away.. let me be the asshole i always was.. let me give lame comments and let me get scolded.. at least let me reaffirm all the criticisms made against me.. help.. why do people always have such high expectations on me.. or maybe i dont have high enough expectations of myself.. lets face it.. i maybe not be ur mister perfect bassist.. let me make my mistakes and sound crappy.. lets get this aj idol business over and done with..
haiz.
im bored of school.. and to think i had my first public performance in school and flopped.. damn.. liberate me from this hell hole...
let me sleep. let sleep wash all my fatigue away and raise my hopes of monday..
over and knocked out.
MeOweD`
+ 4:51 PM